Day 1: Husbands Who Make The Bed

Well here we are. Day one out of 30 of acknowledging the most beautiful part about our day.

We're actually really looking forward to this. Is it sad to see it as a challenge? Besides blogging every day for 30 days straight (which is a challenge in itself), shouldn't we already just be able to see the beauty in each day? 

So let's get right to it. The most beautiful thing about our day, at least the one most worth mentioning, has to do with husbands who make the bed. Funny enough, it also captures our different personalities perfectly. Thomas took the picture below because he felt like it accurately shows what the feeling of the end of a long week looks like: messy, all over the place, and knowing you wouldn't want to be anywhere else than in your comfy, cozy bed. 

Thomas was picking up around the house when he came back in the room about an hour later and saw the bed was made. Not perfectly, but it was noticeably neater than before, just the way PJ likes it. See what we mean? Thomas is always go with the flow, and PJ is so structured , always wanting things to look their best, which neither of us are complaining about. A made bed is such a treat at the end of the night to us. Pulling the covers back, hopping into bed after a long day. Bonus points if they're freshly cleaned, out of the dryer sheets!

So A+ for all you husbands (and wives! and partners!) out there who make the bed every day. It is always appreciated, especially at the end of a somewhat hectic week. It can't be overstated enough. 

Hope you had a good week! xx

A Fun 30 Day Challenge

Life can be hard. 

We know this. You know this. It's just how it is.

But life is also beautiful. And spontaneous. And crazy. And surprising. And wonderful. And unexpected. It's so many things each and every day but it's easy to overlook those things, especially when dealing with everything we all have on our plates. Oh, life is also overwhelming, too. Did we mention that one?

So, because life is not perfect, and it's sometimes hard to see the good in it, we want to celebrate the beauty in each day. We want to acknowledge the things that make it wonderful instead of focusing on the negative. What was the most beautiful part of your day? How did you celebrate it? Was it something big or small? Did you tell anybody or keep it to yourself? 

To celebrate the beauty in each day, we are going to write the most beautiful thing about our day right here, every day, for 30 days straight.

They say that if you do anything for 30 days it sticks, so we're hoping we can see the good that life has to offer if we document it. And if we do it here, there's some accountability, right? You guys will hold us accountable, won't you? In any event, we think it will be good for us to publicly write it down so that we can look back on this time in our life in a few years. Do you ever do that? on Instagram or Facebook? It's kind of scary/hilarious/cringy. Ah, the internet.

So that's the challenge. Or maybe it's an experiment? Whatever it is we're up for it and can't wait to get started. If you want, you can check back in every day for the next 30 days to see the most beautiful part of our day. We know life isn't perfect and we don't pretend ours is, and every day is going to present challenges and maybe some days it will be hard to find the good. But by focusing on the beauty more, maybe something will stick.

 Won't you join us in this challenge? 

Home Again, For a While

We are back home from Mexico! We went to Playa del Carmen for five days with some of our best friends all thanks to HotelTonight, a really cool and convenient app that allows you to book last minute hotel rooms for cheap prices. 

It feels somewhat weird calling them some of our best friends since we all met on Instagram and have only seen each other a handful of times, (some we met for the first time in Mexico!) but it's true. We have all grown close in a short amount of time and we're so grateful for their friendship. Stay tuned for a vlog of the entire trip! 

We have been traveling so much the last two months and we've had the time of our lives, honestly. We told ourselves this year was the year of travel and so far we've been fortunate enough to be able to go all over, making new friends along the way. However, once we walked through our front door last night and felt the overwhelmingly good feeling of FINALLY being home, we couldn't help but feel so thankful that we don't have anything planned for a while. However, we DO plan to spend more time with family, clean the whole house, rearrange some things, cook more (all of this traveling = not eating so great), and possibly starting a mini renovation on a room at home.

As of right now we have a couple trips planned in September, October, and November, so we're going to enjoy the down time in the next few months. You know home is our happy place. It's where we can be ourselves, watch whatever we want, eat whatever we want, and spend endless amounts of time figuring out our next design project. There’s no place else we’d rather be.

It feels good to be home, doesn't it?

On Using the Word “Partner”

When we first started dating, we couldn’t wait to start using the word boyfriend to describe ourselves, especially Thomas. After going years with never having one, he finally had a boyfriend. Not just a boy who was a friend, but a real, live boy who wanted to be MORE than friends. An actual boyfriend, people!

For the next four years until we were engaged, we referred to each other as boyfriends. When introducing one another, it was always “Hi, this is my boyfriend, PJ” and it always felt so good because we finally got to experience what everyone else got to do for years. It was almost like playing catch up, you know? 

After we got engaged, we started referring to each other as fiancé. And okay to be honest it did sound somewhat pretentious to call each other that every time we introduced ourselves but there was a certain elegance and seriousness about it, maybe even a sense of importance to us. It was taking our relationship to the next level and with that comes a new defining term.  Even though it was only 10 months, we enjoyed that short period in our relationship where we went from just boyfriends to fiancés, and then after we got married, we happily refer to each other as husbands.

But what about the word “partner”? It seems when other people talk to us, if they don’t know what our relationship status is (or they’re too embarrassed to say husband because we live in the south and that honestly happens ALL THE TIME) they will refer to us as partners. We have never called each other partners in our entire relationship, and we don’t have one definite reason why, it’s just never been how we describe ourselves. A part of us feels like that term is a “safe word” or a cover up word used to describe gay couples, mostly by straight people, either because they feel shame calling us husbands or they’re embarrassed. Who knows?

At the same time, we know there are a lot of gay couples who refer to themselves as partners. Maybe they’ve been together forever but aren’t married, so they’re life partners, or maybe they ARE married but don’t like the word husbands. We are curious about this word and it’s usage, though. It’s interesting don’t you think? Is it an age thing? Do younger or older people use it more than the other? Maybe it’s a generation thing? Or a region thing? We’d be interested in studying more about those topics to dive into this further.

When we were researching for this post, we came across this article written by a married gay man who prefers to use the term partner instead of husband. It’s an interesting read and he makes a couple of good points. Still, it isn’t enough to sway our vocabulary just yet :). And ultimately, that’s what it all comes down to! Doing whatever works for the two of you and your relationship. What other people think doesn’t and shouldn’t matter, so you do you! 

We came across a lot of articles that make a case for both words, but we are curious: which do you prefer? Do you use the term partner or husband/wife?

PS- more interesting articles on the topic:

• ‘Husband,’ ‘Partner,’ ‘Boyfriend’: What’s in a Word?

• Why do gay couples use the terms ‘husband’ and ‘wife,’ rather than ‘partner’?

• Op-ed: Boyfriends, Husbands, And The 'Partners' In Between

• There's even a Reddit thread about it here. Other than the occasional inappropriate words, it's fascinating to read through all of the different opinions.

 (Above photo by Cameron Hinkle)  

Why The Right Lighting Can Make All The Difference

When we were working on our house for the show, we found a chandelier for our dining room that we both thought was so cute. The black and wood color matched the overall design of our dining room and had the look we wanted. We felt good about our purchase and loved it once it was installed. All was right in the world. Until it wasn't 

Our chandelier before

After being here a year, we realized we almost never turn that chandelier on when we're eating. We usually stick to either the overhead recessed lighting or the two sconces on the wall and our two lamps for a cozier, more inviting vibe. Why, you ask? (Assuming you asked us because you're on the edge of your seat wondering what happens next) The reason is because the light our chandelier put off was too. dang. stark. And bright. And harsh. In short, it hurt to look at and definitely didn’t feel inviting to eat under when it was on. 

Our chandelier before

Once we realized this we have been on the hunt for the perfect replacement ever since. We also wanted something more substantial. Our old chandelier felt too thin for the room. We needed something a little bulkier. You were beautiful to look at black & wood colored chandelier, but you just weren't the right fit for us.

Enter Hudson Valley Lighting. They have SO many options for every kind of light you can think of: wall sconces. flush mounts, pendants, table lamps, picture lighting, and of course, chandeliers. They offer literally thousands of different products from various companies so you're guaranteed to find the light you're looking for. It was actually really fun to go through all the options until we found the one we felt would look perfect in our dining room. And one of the best parts of the whole process was each chandelier usually has 2-3 different finishes to choose from, so you have some options.

So more on why we chose the chandelier that we did. We were looking for an aged brass chandelier to offset our black sconces that we have above our buffet. We also wanted one that had shades on it to create a cozier atmosphere with more ambient lighting, lighting that would encourage intimate dinners with friends and family. After searching through so many lights, we finally settled on the perfect one.

We ended up choosing the Charlotte chandelier in aged brass and we absolutely love it. It's sophisticated, charming, and puts off the coziest, warm light that's been perfect for late night dinners. Also, aren't the little shades so cute? 

Also, the aged brass looks gorgeous against the black table and chairs. You know our favorite combination is black, wood white, and brass, as evident from our kitchen:

If you're looking for your gorgeous lighting options for all rooms of your house you should definitely check out Hudson Valley Lighting. We are so in love with our new chandelier and we can't wait to get more lights for other rooms in our home!

(This post is sponsored by Hudson Valley Lighting. Thank you for supporting the brands that we endorse.)