Feature Friday with Jorge Valencia and Morgan King
Happy Friday, y’all. After a few days of bad weather, we’re looking forward to enjoying the sunshine this weekend with some trips out to the land to get some fresh air and let the kiddos run around. Any fun plans you’re looking forward to?
Today’s Feature Friday is a beautiful couple who takes turns answering questions and discuss their coming out stories, what their environment was like growing up, and where they see themselves in 5 years. We loved getting to know Jorge and Morgan and we think you will, too. Check out what we mean below…
What is your favorite place that you’ve ever travelled to and why? Zermatt, Switzerland. We went there on our honeymoon because we love skiing together and the food is incredible, too. The slopes there are really amazing and we really improved our technique.
Where did you grow up? What was your environment like? Jorge: I was raised catholic and I would go to church every Sunday with my parents when I was a kid. But at some point during my early teens, my brother and I started questioning and disagreeing with a lot that we would hear the priest say. We eventually stopped going. My parents were very respectful of that and never forced us to go. Mexico City is like 99% catholic so we didn’t get to experience a lot of other religions or denominations, so iit wasn't until I moved to New York City that I realized I could find another church that aligned better with the way I think.
Morgan: I call myself a recovering evangelical. It’s almost like waking up after years in a different reality where women couldn’t be leaders, education was an afterthought, and I could never, not in a million years, be with a man. Now, I’m only about 1000 miles away from my hometown but it feels like a whole different world.
How did that shape who you are as a person? J: My parents are both scientists, so that for sure had an influence on my interests and on what I do now. Besides science, they were also very vocal about trying to be as happy as we can by surrounding ourselves with people we love, doing something you’re passionate about and being healthy. That’s been stuck in my mind since I was a kid.
M: The (one?) good thing about evangelicalism is hope. I have hope for a better world, a better future, and even though I view the world really differently than I once did, that hope is still very much alive.
What is one thing you love about yourself? J: I think I am very determined. It might take me some time to make up my mind about something but once I decide I want to do something I won’t stop until it’s done.
M: My enthusiasm about little things.
What brings you the most joy in life? J: Little traditions that Morgan and I have like going to the Macy’s parade on Thanksgiving or re-watching Gilmore Girls (only!) in the fall even though we end up disliking Rory even more every time we watch it.
M: Those simple days when life together is just plain good.
How old were you when you came out? What was your experience like? J: I was 19. I told myself I would come out when I was in a relationship and that’s what I did. The night I decided to come out to my parents I couldn’t stop crying. My parents found me in my room and, after a few hours and many tears, I told them.
M: I was 23. I had always been attracted to men, but I didn’t realize (or hadn’t seen, really) that actually loving a man might be an option. My first few months at seminary, I realized that being gay was a gift and part of my call to mininstry. A few months later, I wrote a 10 page paper explaining it all to my parents, hopped on a plane to Paris, and just got away from everything for a week.
How did your friends and family take it? J: I was lucky enough to have a very supportive family who has shown me a thousand times that they would do anything for me. Seeing them interact with Morgan is one of my greatest joys.
M: My parents didn’t come to our wedding this past December. I still love them. And I believe they love me, too. But love is complicated. Needless to say, I don’t see anyone from home much.
What did you learn about yourself in the coming out process? J: I spent most of my teen years angry at myself and at life. At the time I didn't know why I felt like that but looking back it is probably because I knew I was different, but I didn’t know if I would ever have the courage to come out and be myself. But once I did, I let go of all that anger as well.
M: I learned that being different is dangerous, but also that it doesn’t have to be that way.
What would you tell today’s LGBTQ youth who are struggling to come out in fear they won’t be accepted by family, friends, society? J: Coming out is one of the best things you can do. There’s nothing compared to that feeling of freedom that you get after doing it. It is liberating. But it is also very hard depending on your background, so I would say make sure that you have a support system. If you’re worried your family is not gonna react the way you want them, make sure you have a friend or someone to talk to before coming out to them. And also remember it takes time for them to adjust and get used to the idea. Give them time.
M: Acceptance is important, but finding the ability, somehow, to not let anyone else define you might be even better.
What is a difficult or challenging obstacle you've overcome in your life or hope to overcome? J: turns out getting a PhD in biomedical sciences is way harder than I expected. It involves facing a lot of frustration, self-doubt and more anxiety I ever thought I would have to deal with.
M: Some days are more difficult than others, trying to balance my pride and love of my life with Jorge and my commitment to my family even when they aren’t supportive.
Who is your biggest inspiration and why? J: My parents because I am where I am right now thanks to them. They went to grad school while my brother and I were in elementary school, and now as a grad student myself I don’t know how they raised two kids and got their PhDs. They even held down jobs at the same time to give me and my brother everything we needed. Also, Morgan’s strength and love inspire me everyday. It is easy to give up on relationships after you’re hurt or when you don’t exactly get what you need out of a one, but he chooses to work on them instead of taking the easy way out.
M: My mom’s dad (“Granddady”). He had an alcoholic father and was barely able to go to school because of having to help around the family farm. Around age 16, he left for the “big city” (Chattanooga) and ended up being the first in our family to go to college. He’s one of the kindest, most generous people I know [and, yes, of course Jorge is one of my heros, too :)]
Where do you see yourself in five years? J: I’ve lived in different cities since I started college but I have really fallen in love with New York so hopefully we will still be living here in 5 years even after I finish my PhD. I also see a puppy in our future.
M: We’ve actually both lived many places. I’ve moved 12 times in 8 years to 5 different cities. I am ready to find a more permanent home somewhere in New York with my husband.
Thank you so much Jorge & Morgan! You can follow them on Instagram here. We hope you have a beautiful weekend, friends and stay safe! xx
